sakit

means “sick” in Bahasa Indonesia. In Tagalog (my parent’s language) it can also mean “pain.”  I feel both today, so I stayed home from work to rest.  There is never a good time to get sick, and it’s really humbling because you can’t do what you want to when you want to.  I feel achy all over but despite the pressure I feel in my head due to congestion (mampet), my brain is still racing, thinking about everything that still needs to be done, work-wise (school my workplace, and school my two online classes that I’m taking).  

Everything started setting in on Saturday, with a runny nose and that feeling that you’re pre-sick.  So I started drinking Energen-C like it was my job, to avoid getting sick.  Sunday, I woke up with a sore throat, cough, and congestion.  Today, my cough has escalated to the point where it hurts in my abdomen to cough.  I have been drinking Obat Batuk cap Ibu dan Anak (Cough medicine for women and children), at the suggestion of two of my ministry team members.  It seems to be helping, but the congestion is still pretty bad. 

So is it okay for guys to take the Cough Medicine for Women and Children? haha

On Sunday, it seemed like there was no end of things to do: I was teaching for the second week in a row at Building Blocks, preparing for my Hospitality Team meeting after Sunday Celebration, and had to take care of the powerpoint since the guy who usually takes care of it was starting up another ministry team for that Sunday and wouldn’t have the time work on it that he normally does.  

I really think that lately, with everything to do on my plate, I have had a real sense of joy with doing things.  I gave up coffee and tea for Lent, and I think it is exposing just how dependent I am on caffeine to fuel me, rather than depending on God.  I think that’s why I am so tired and run down these days.  Anyway, being sick is showing me that it’s easy to do things when you have energy, strength, and resources.  It’s not easy to do things when you feel spent, weak, and have nothing to offer. 

Sunday, with everything to take care of (not to mention the homework due today that I hadn’t touched to that point, or my lesson plans for this week), I think I could have had a real sense of joy doing what I was doing, had I not been…sick.

I was both snappy and crabby throughout the morning, stressed out about the amount of things to be done.  At the end of the day, once everything I had to do had been taken care of, and even throughout the day, I realized just how ugly my sin is, the sin that is subtly lying beneath the surface of my enjoying things.  And it got exposed with being sick.  

I think it makes the words “surely He bore our infirmities, and by His stripes we are healed” all the more precious.  So, I’m sakit… and I need Jesus.