marble: noun
1 a hard crystalline metamorphic form of limestone, typically white with mottlings or streaks of color, that is capable of taking a polish and is used in sculpture and architecture.
2 a small ball of colored glass or similar material used as a toy.
3 ( one's marbles) informal one's mental faculties : I thought she'd lost her marbles, asking a question like that.
kelereng (marble) Gosh, I wish I remembered this term earlier today at the mall but I couldn’t for the life of me, and I couldn’t even think of how to ask my question to the store people at Gramedia (local bookstore) (so I had to ask a friend, Sassha, and also consulted Google translate for the spelling just now)
But, I did find these beauties at the store next door, Informa. The jar I used makes the quantity seem really small. In fact, 70 (should be 69 now that it’s after midnight) is a small and quickly diminishing number.
It’s the number of days until I leave this place that has become like a home to me.
A childhood friend of mine was visiting me this past week, and over dinner tonight, she remembered that I had wanted to start a marbles jar countdown - just like what P Seth and Christina had done with their family the year we all moved to Jakarta: they took one marble out of the jar for each day, to symbolize just how close we were getting to departure. A reminder to pray for our new home and the building of God’s kingdom there.
The jar: for the purposes of a visual reminder of the urgency to finish well and to finish strong here…
Today was significant because:
(1) April 1 was the first day back at school after a weeklong holiday, and the first day of our ten-week Term 4, and the last term in a school year always flies.
(2) I paid for my one-way ticket today, and now departure seems more real and real - and it doesn’t look anything like I imagined it would.
(3) My friend Brittany (who reminded me about the marbles) left after a great week of rediscovering who she is and friendship with her. Gave me a greater picture of even greater rediscovery to come in the days ahead in my life back in the States.
One thing I remembered over dinner with Brittany tonight was a blog post that I wrote about losing my marbles:
“It's November 11, I have been single for exactly one year, and I have no frame of reference anymore in terms of life experiences. Everything is new - and everyday, I am more confident that God engineers our circumstances perfectly. In fact, I found myself being reminded of this fact through an illustration I heard at a tiny church service I found at the airport during my three hour layover in Atlanta on Sunday.
It was about a little boy running around with marbles clenched in his tiny fist. His father knew that the marbles were dangerous because (1) the child might swallow them or (2) the child might drop the marbles while running and slip and fall on them. In order to lure the boy away from the marbles, the parent produced a new and better toy - an airplane - for which the boy would have to let go of the marbles in order to grasp at the better thing.
Without remorse, I think it would be appropriate to say that I have lost my marbles...”
I can’t believe it has been more than five years since I wrote that.
How could I have known that God would bring me here to Indonesia to teach me more about who He is? To allow me to lose my marbles (everything I had ever logically planned for myself) and grasp at “the better thing,” the One thing that matters.
I hope I can be more disciplined about posting about my life here in the days and weeks to come. “Wherever you are, be all there!” said Jim Elliot, and so in the meantime, I plan to be fully here until I am gone.
So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12
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