pelit

Lately I have been thinking about the word pelit. I actually learned this word a few months ago towards the end of last school year.

“Miss Irissss!!!” I heard one day while my children were coloring in their phonics workbooks. “Gerald is pelit, he is pelit!!!” The children were absolutely frantic.  I had no idea what the word meant, so I had to ask them to clarify. 

“Ummm…what does pelit mean?”

“Sharing! Sharing!” the accusers shouted.

It still wasn’t making sense to me so I had to ask, “Isn’t that a good thing?”

“NO! Not sharing, he’s not sharing!”  

I had to laugh at the situation, and then remind Gerald - then 4 years old and a K1 - that he had to share.  Now that Gerald is 5 years old and now a K2 and now hopefully knows that he should share, I find myself thinking about the purpose behind it.  Why should we share? 

Today I was reading through 2 Corinthians chapters 8 and 9 on “Encouragement to Give Generously” and “The Cheerful Giver.” 

Right now as a single adult, it’s really easy to stay zoned in on my own life.  Right now, my earning capacity is solely for me.  I have found that it’s easy to become more stingy with my financial resources as I have more, ironically - saving it up for some sort of proverbial nest egg, but I do admit that there isn’t really a nest right now haha. 

One thing I have been feeling particularly convicted about is stinginess in other areas of my life: time, investment into relationships, talent.  The past couple of months, it has been easy to feel particularly stretched because of the +/- hour commute into Jakarta everyday and back.  It’s not easy going to bed late(r than I intend to) and waking up early to go to school the next day. 

Also, it has been easy in the realm of relationships to only let people in so much.  I’m willing to get into their lives, but how much am I really willing to let them into mine?  Partially because of this pattern of years of thinking, “If they knew, maybe they’d run…”

I have also had this mindset of getting my worth from what I have accomplished or done - which, to be honest in the past few years, in terms of measurable/quantitative perspectives, it’s not much.  I used to dance as a kid and quit that for sports in middle school.  Tried to juggle sports and music in high school, and quit everything once I got to university where I realized I was just your average kid.  And I’d never seen myself as that.  I didn’t realize how insecure I was until I moved here, where all titles and accomplishments have pretty much been stripped away just from the mere fact that this place - although my home - is still so new. 

One thing I have taken up recently is running (ahem, and by that I mean jogging haha) and one of my favorite in-the-zone songs is “Forever Reign,” by Casting Crowns and the chorus goes like this:

Oh, I’m running to your arms/I’m running to your arms

The riches of your love will always be enough

Nothing compares to your embrace

Light of the word, Forever Reign

I love the allusion to running while I’m running.  But I also love the reminder about the riches of God’s love and grace through his son Jesus Christ.  Here are some more words from the good book about God’s grace:

“And God is able to make all grace about to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work…” (2 Cor 9:8)

“He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.  You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.”  2 Cor 9:10-11)

Going on year three here in Indonesia, and I have realized that it is easy to become pelit when you serve out of your own strength and resources rather than believing that Jesus has already supplied, rather than depending on Christ and his power.  For some reason, I somehow forget about the riches of God’s grace and that out of Christ’s generosity, he has enabled us to give as he did:

“For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.”  (2 Cor 8:9)

I looked up the word “poverty” because I realize, like most words in English, I get the sentiment but can’t articulate it exactly.  It said, “state of having little or no money, goods or means of support.” (emphasis, mine). 

“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  Thank you, Jesus, for deciding in your heart to willingly humble yourself to humanity and poverty - experiencing the ultimate lack of means of support when your Father turned away from you when you became our sin on the cross (“Father, why have you forsaken me?”) - so that I could experience the riches of your grace.  Thank you for your ultimate example of generosity by offering up yourself as the Cheerful Giver.  Forgive me for when I cheapen the riches of your grace by my forgetfulness, and help me to kill the strong tendencies of my flesh to be pelit.  Teach us how to give like you gave first.

photo essay on buka puasa

My third Ramadan in Indonesia and though some things have become pretty commonplace to me, I'm still learning about some of the finer details of the fasting season (and that I could stand to share those things here!)  The word for fasting is "puasa."  From what I have heard, fasters wake early to have a meal at 3:00 am and then begin their fast at 4:00 pm.  Breaking fast time starts around sundown at 6:30 pm.  

For the thirty days of fasting, it's pretty common to see curtains drawn in the windows of restaurants during daylight hours.  From what I remember over the past couple of years, it's for hiding the temptation of food (and likely the eaters) from those who are fasting.  Here is what I noticed on day 2 of the fasting season at my usual pre-LIFE Group roost:

sebelum buka puasa (pre-breaking fast)

This is the view post-breaking fast, right around 6:00 pm as people were preparing to break the fast:

sesudah buka puasa (post-breaking fast)

Went on a spontaneous date this afternoon across the street to Taman Sari, an assortment of restaurants across the street from our apartment, with my roommate Lea because she wanted some es cendol.  I have no idea what cendol means but I took a pretty pixelated picture (thanks to my phone) of it.  By this time, the sun had already set.  The cendol  is greenish in color and is shaped like solid macaroni.  (Sorry if the picture doesn't look that appetizing.  It is very legit if you eat/drink it!)  The cendol is poured into a coconut milk base.  Lea had hers with durian added!

I wanted to go in search of some fried goodness in the form of cumi goreng tepung (friend calamari), and as we walked, she explained that during the fasting time, everyone gets to enjoy a lot of drinks.  After fasting all day long, it would be foolish to break fast with a big meal.  Sweet drinks are pretty popular here for the initial fast breaking.  Vendors line up on the side of the road just before breaking fast time (okay, there are only about 3 stalls across the street), ready to give the cold, sweet drinks to eager customers.  Lea explained that the sugar helps to give energy to the person who has been fasting without food or water the whole day:

(pretty pixelated) cendol [chen-dol]

My fried food craving was satisfied just a few short steps away and as we were waiting, the waiter brought two small bowls of kolak, and said "Buat buka puasa," or "for breaking fast."  To be honest, it was my first time experiencing kolak before a meal.  Lea explained (she did a lot of explaining this evening for me!) that the base is coconut milk, and that the dominant fruit in this one was sauteed banana (pisang), with some sweet potato chunks in it.  Kolak is like a sweet soup, eaten for the same reason as the es cendol.

kolak

Two precious years ago I decided to actively participate in my own fast at the same time as Ramadan and had no idea how God would surface so much crud that I had no idea was still in my heart.  It has been very interesting to think about the security guards who stand outside all day long, the people who work in the malls standing on their feet most of the day, and especially the servers who work at the restaurants around food all the time - more than aware of the fact that their tummies are hungry.  Tomorrow is day 8 of the fasting time and though I know the time will pass quickly, there is quite a ways to go.  

My personal prayer for the fast is for a recognition of a spiritual hunger, rather than just a physical hunger in the time of physically abstaining from food - in my own heart, and in the hearts of the people around me.  That physical food and sugary drinks only sustain for so long, but that there is One who said, "But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again..." (John 4:14)

Lea, kolak and (the remnants of) es cendol

on transitions (again!)

A bit of pretense before what I drafted below on 19 July: A friend of mine mentioned that she blogs quite frequently because she has quite a following of readers from her alma mater, and that loves to add a touch of humor to her posts.  It reminded me that I haven’t touched this blog in months and that I should probably give a long overdue update (even though I’m sure I don’t even have quite the following that she does and my posts are usually more reflective rather than funny…which I’m okay with, and definitely want to be better at being more unedited and more humorous!)  One piece of feedback that I received pretty frequently was the interest in how everyday life goes.  To be honest, things that seemed so new and fresh to me about life in Jakarta have become “normal” and just a part of my daily life - so it has been hard to pick out the differences between my life there and my life here.  But I do want to make more of an effort to give whoever is reading this a better picture of “daily life” and what God is doing here (whether in Indonesia or in me)… that said, I jotted down the following during some down time I had at school and wanted to share it as my way of processing the different changes that I encountered upon arriving back in Indonesia for what will be my third year here:

19 July :: My K1s and K2s are actually housed in the same classrooms that they were in last year.  One of my K2s said to me, “In my class, I only have my friend Rendi from K1B” - when really they have a whole classroom full of colorful and unique personalities to get to know.  So much change. 

See I am doing a new thing…

The old has gone, the new has come!

Once I arrived in Jakarta over two weeks ago, we were all running around quite literally -with many people a part of our summer missions projects to Jogjakarta and Lampung.  When the teams left, I stayed back here in Jakarta for work.  I definitely felt the vacuum of people, and finally had the space to process different things: that I was back “home” in the States a mere couple of weeks ago and now back “home” in Jakarta; the absence and soon to be absence of people who have been in my life for a while; and that after two years I no longer live with and work with the same people that I serve in ministry with.

It has been easy to struggle with feelings of abandonment - even thinking back to events that I never actually witnessed: the death of my grandfather when he was 38, leaving behind his wife and four children; the death of my grandmother the week that my mother found that she was pregnant with me; and the various times I have watched people walk out of my life for various reasons. 

Sure, it hurts.

My comfort: being reminded of God’s promise that he never leaves or forsakes us and that he loves us with an everlasting love.  My perspective of change and of Him has been so skewed.  The old paradigm: to open my heart and love is foolish because people will leave just when I do.  But actually, Jesus loved with all of his heart, and he I have felt the right to be self-protective and to hold back. I love that my K2s (who were formerly my K1s) are still so tender of heart.  I have been so nervous throughout this week about the K1s crying during class time, but the K2s have really cheered me so much with their unrestrained hugs and exclamations of “Miss Iris!”

As I wrote that, it made me think of God’s Father heart and how it must swell when we do the same towards him.  I think this year will be even more stretching than I can comprehend.  All the same spaces (job, living space, ministry) and yet a different context for things and people… 

All things pass away but the Word of the Lord remains forever.